When parents separate, the arrangements for the children matter more than anything else that has to be decided. Most parents sort them out between themselves, sometimes with a mediator’s help. Some cannot, and the Family Court then makes the decision for them. We advise mothers and fathers at every stage, from a first conversation about what is reasonable to representation at a final hearing.

Parental responsibility

Parental responsibility is the legal term for the rights and duties a parent has. It covers the big decisions in a child’s life. Which school they attend is one, and so is consent to medical treatment.

A mother always has it. A father has it if he was married to the mother when the child was born, or if he is named on the birth certificate for a birth registered after 1 December 2003. Otherwise it can be acquired by a formal agreement with the mother or by a court order. Step-parents and grandparents can also obtain it in some situations.

Separation does not end parental responsibility. Both parents keep it, and neither can make a major decision about the child without consulting the other.

Orders the court can make

The Children Act 1989 gives the Family Court power to make several kinds of order.

  • A child arrangements order decides who a child lives with and how much time they spend with the other parent, including holidays and special occasions.
  • A specific issue order settles a single disputed question, such as which school a child should attend.
  • A prohibited steps order stops a parent from doing something without the court’s permission, such as taking the child out of the country or changing their surname.
  • Permission to relocate, often called leave to remove, allows for a parent to move abroad with the child, or a long way within the UK, when the other parent objects.

Grandparents and other relatives can apply too, although most will need the court’s permission first.

How the court decides

The child’s welfare is the court’s paramount consideration, not who was to blame for the separation.

The judge works through a checklist set out in the Act. It includes the child’s own wishes and feelings, weighed according to their age and understanding, and the likely effect on the child of any change in their circumstances. The court also considers any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of, and how capable each parent is of meeting the child’s needs. The court will only make an order if doing so is better for the child than making none at all.

Before you apply: mediation

In most cases you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, before you can apply to court. The mediator explains how mediation works and whether it is suitable for your family. If it is, a mediated agreement is usually quicker and far cheaper than proceedings, and parents tend to stick to arrangements they have made themselves.

There are exemptions, most importantly where there is evidence of domestic abuse or the application is genuinely urgent. We can tell you whether an exemption applies to you.

The court process

The new Child Focused Court model previously known as Pathfinder is currently being rolled out in England & Wales. Under this model, once you file your application for a Child Arrangements Order, the first step is not a hearing. A Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory & Support Service) Officer speaks to both parents and runs police and local authority checks. Where it is appropriate, they also talk to the child. The result is a Child Impact Report, which gives the judge an independent picture of the family before anyone attends court. Cases are then directed down a route that suits them, and those involving allegations of domestic abuse receive closer case management.

For parents, this means the early stages focus on the child rather than on competing accounts from each side. It also means the quality of what you tell Cafcass at the start matters a great deal.

Domestic abuse and urgent cases

If you or your children are at risk, the court can act quickly. A non-molestation order can be made on the day you apply, in some cases without the other person being told in advance protecting the victim adult and also the children, where relevant. An occupation order can decide who lives in the family home. Where a child is at risk of being taken abroad, a prohibited steps order can be obtained urgently.

Legal aid for private children cases is now limited, but it can still be available where there is evidence of domestic abuse or a risk to the child.

Taking children on holiday abroad

This catches many separated parents out. Unless a court order says otherwise, you need the written consent of everyone with parental responsibility to take a child out of the UK, even for a week in the sun. Taking a child abroad without it can be a criminal offence. A parent named in a child arrangements order as someone the child lives with may take the child abroad for up to a month without that consent.

If the other parent refuses consent for a holiday without good reason, the court can give permission. Apply early. Summer holiday applications made in July rarely end well.

Child maintenance

Financial support for children is usually dealt with by the Child Maintenance Service rather than the Family Court, and parents can also agree an amount privately. The court still has a role in some cases, for example where the paying parent lives abroad or has a high income, or where unmarried parents need provision for housing or school fees.

How we can help

Some clients need advice on a single question, such as whether to agree to a proposed holiday. Others need representation through contested proceedings. We will tell you honestly what the court is likely to do, which is not always what either parent hopes to hear, and help you reach arrangements that work for your children.

Goldsmiths Solicitors have a dedicated Family Law team who deal with children matters as well as divorce and marital finance disputes. Request a callback or call 0121 690 4000 and ask for the Family Department.

This page reflects the law in England and Wales as at October 2026. It is general information, not advice on your own circumstances.